I rolled and tossed in my bed listening to Honey Lump snore. I turned on my side, I laid on my back, I clicked the sound machine on and listened to it. Usually the white noise would drown out the snoring, but not this morning. It got louder and I got angrier.
Angry at my Honey Lump? At 4:30 in the morning? When he's sound asleep?
That thought snapped my eyes wide open. I stared at the ceiling. Confession is good for the soul. The words just kept rolling over me like a broken record, as sleep evaded my restless body.
OK Lord, I confess that I'm angry because Honey Lump's snoring is keeping me awake. From the time I was nineteen and had my first child, I've never had an unbroken night's sleep. Either a baby's cry, or an asthmatic cough, or allergies or a snoring Honey Lump have broken through my reverie. Yes, I confess anger. I'm sorry. I know that it's my re-action to distress that is important ... not the thing that is distressing me. Thank you, Lord for showing me that. Amen
I got out of bed, checked my e-mail, wrote a few letters, and headed upstairs to make coffee.
I looked out the front window as I sat in my favorite blue leather chair reading my Bible. It was still dusky dark, and due to three days of rainy weather, it looked like another gray day. Then, as I looked out through the Torrey Pine, I noticed an orange spot just over the house across the street. My first thought was fire. The Alpine fires had burned over 10,000 acres just a few days before.
No, it wasn't fire ... I was surprised by a magnificent sunrise! I wondered how a glorious sunrise could squeeze through such a tiny opening in a stormy sky.
I looked out the window again mesmerized as the storm clouds parted to show me sparkles of sunshine, washing the murky gray away. It made a splash of orange and gold as a background for the lacy patterns of the pine tree.
I marveled at the brush strokes of God painting the canvas sky for me so early in the morning, My quiet time was more memorable as I finished reading a few more verses.
It was good to be here in the quietness of my morning watch.
When I looked up again the sky was gray again and it looked like rain. The sunrise experience was totally gone. It had been fleeting, that break in the clouded sky, and I wondered if it was just for me or had other sleepless people been blessed by it too?
It had been an epiphany moment in time.
God revealed to me, through a sunrise, that when I can't sleep at 5:00 in the morning there is a reason why. He has something better for me than rolling and tossing. All things that happen to us happen for a purpose.
I wouldn't have seen the sunrise in that perfect moment if I hadn't been awakened by my Honey Lump Richie's snoring. I'd thought that my inconvenience was a bad thing when in reality, when I 'let go' of my anger over it, God gave me that special breakthrough experience of a Honey Lump sunrise to start my day.
Visions of that hole in the sky, when the sun shown through the storm clouds so early in the morning, came back to me over and over blessing and enlightening my day. It reminded me to savor the moments and look for those epiphanies that only God can give to an obedient heart.